


Instructions to the Polite Cup of Tea, by Doctor Valeria Fibonacci

by Sinking Beatrice (Beatrice_Sank)



Series: Last of the Inked [5]
Category: All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket, Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Codes & Ciphers, Food Drama, Gen, Sugar Bowl - Freeform, Tea is a Dangerous Business, The Duchess is ever so thoughtful, Un-volunteering, VFD Instruction Manual, and Words Are Important, vfd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9238988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatrice_Sank/pseuds/Sinking%20Beatrice
Summary: Of how the Duchess offered a way out of VFD to M. and V., the last of the Inked. Or was it to Beatrice and Bertrand? This is hard to tell."The Duchess is ever so thoughtful, if a bit oblivious."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueFloyd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFloyd/gifts).



_Choose your favorite China blue teapot, and two matching cups._

“And how do you do, my dear? It has been awfully long.”

 

_Add two silver spoons and white napkins._

“I often think of you, you know.”

 

_Complete the set with two white saucers, to be presented separately._

“You two always enjoyed a manner of special status.”

 

_Place 1,5 liter of filtered water in the kettle of your choice, preferably black._

“And I confess the current situation leaves me with more regrets that I can count.”

 

_Boil up to 95° Celsius, and don't let whistle for too long._

“There is no sense in forcing people to stay beyond their breaking point.”

 

_Select the appropriate type of leaves (black). May we recommend: Russian Earl Grey, **Lapsang Souchong** , Strong Breakfast, Black Jasmine._

_Avoid: Chinese Gunpowder._

“And there has been enough tragedies in the recent months, this much I can grant.”

 

_Place the leaves in a tea infuser beforehand attached to the pot's spout by a small chain._

“But as you know, one cannot withdraw as easily as may be desired.”

 

_Measure two spoonfuls. There is no need to add one “for the pot”._

“However, since it will only be the two of you,”

 

_Pour the water into the pot._

“I have an offer to make.”

 

_Infuse for 7 minutes._

“You don't have to decide immediately.”

 

_And serve while hot._

“The position, however, are to due to begin this September.”

 

_If you have milk in store, you can offer some, but this is by no mean compulsory._

“I'm not saying this will be the complete and certain end to everything unpleasant,”

 

_Refrain to add lemon._

“And it is assured to be fairly different from what you are leaving behind.”

 

_Blow on your cup softly._

“But this will be quiet enough.”

 

_Tap your spoon lightly against your cup to remove the remaining water, three times._

“The school is an interesting place, and they welcome all kinds of students.”

 

_Take a first sip, carefully._

“I think you might be happy there.”

 

_Breath out to drain the hotness away._

“If I am allowed to use such a term.”

 

_If you happen to own a sugar bowl, don't forget to put it on display for your guests to enjoy._

“I will give you the necessary information.”

 

_Offer some muffins. May we recommend: **Blueberry** , Orange, Banana, Chocolate._

_Avoid: Raspberry._

“Of course, you will have to be extremely careful.”

 

_Bring some butter and a paper knife._

“It is possible that some people will continue to resent you, after that accident in the Colophon Clinic.”

 

_ A  ~~ paper  ~~ knife. _

“Forgive me.”

 

_ A butter knife. _

“I meant to say: after all these years in the organization.”

 

_ Offer the adequate sort of preserve. May we recommend: Raspberry, Strawberry, Blackberry, Jujube,  **Kiwi** , Walnut.  _

“Besides, I am concerned about Kit's feelings.”

 

_Use the butter knife to spread preserve to your taste._

“Though it will probably ease with time.”

 

_You can then bring the scones, one for each guest._

“In the end, I really think this is an arrangement that will be suitable for all.”

 

_Cut you scone in two, and help yourself to some butter and preserve, at your convenience._

“I can see how conflicted you are, and given the circumstances it is only understandable. We have asked a lot, through the years, and your efforts have been acknowledged. I am so sorry for what happened to [enter name of preserve].”

 

_Pretend you have left the kettle on the fire and slip out for a few minutes, leaving your guests alone with the tray and optional sugar bowl._

“I know you won't want to have contact with most of us anymore. You will be missed, my dear. I remember watching you grow, watching you putting a stop to so many evils, and now… I am so sorry. I really hope this will be a new life, a fresh start, but… We cannot erase anything. Life has a way to track you down, sometimes, we all learned it the hard way. Fire tends to follow your steps. Be careful, don't let yourself go totally dormant. You will be on your own, from now.”

 

_Come back after six minutes and forty three seconds, carrying extra scones._

“But when in need, you know you can always call.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> The consequences of that offer can be found in The M.'s Letters, for one part, and Mrs Baudelaire, for the other.


End file.
